Do black pants ever fit? Or even look good?

Yet again I must purchase black pants for a job (I think this is the third time?). Every time I try to buy black pants, they look horribly shitty on me. The first pair I bought had a huge waist and tiny ankles, and just looked like silk clown pants. I wore them at Bertucci's, and the bus boys (which was what I was) carried around spray bottles hanging from either the belt buckle or the pocket. So the weight of that dragged my pants down all night, despite my belt.

And then when I started working at Staples, I bought a pair of really nice almost black jeans, and they fit REALLY well, but I wasn't allowed to wear them because they weren't completely black. So I went and bought a different shittier truly black pair, and they were terrible. And for some reason, I look like an idiot with my shirt tucked in, as always, and it was a policy.



And now I need to buy another pair of black pants. I'm going to wake up early tomorrow and head to Marshall's, and I'm going to find myself a good pair of black pants DAMMIT.

Oh, and I need black skid-free shoes. Easy.